About five years ago my life completely changed. My mom passed away from her battle to cancer and it was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to go through. That event gave me a real perspective about what death was and how short life really is. I was 18 when she passed and it forced me to grow up and be self-reliant.
The first few months we’re painful because I thought losing a parent was something that I’d experience a lot later in life and I couldn’t understand “why” she died. I was looking for a logical answer. I accepted that the universe had a different plan for me and my family. Personal growth has helped me learn that.
I’ve been on the journey of self-discovery since that happened. It’s been full of challenges, growth, learning, and improvement. The best part is that no matter what happens to you in your life, you can overcome any setback. You must believe that life is happening for you and that greater things will happen.
I really didn’t know if I was going to be able to heal from that experience. I learned it’s a day in day out process. You must be patient with yourself and your growth. My attitude changed from “life is happening to me” to “life is happening for me.” The question changed to “What’s this trying to teach me?”
This journey has made me very self-aware. I’ve learned how to channel the energy from the pain and suffering I felt towards being a leader for my family, developing a growth mindset, being a relentless learner, and putting in tons of hours towards discovering what my purpose is. I will make my mom and family proud. They deserve the world and I’ll do my best to give that to them.
I believe my mission is to inspire and teach others how to embrace adversity and maximize their potential. Life’s to short to waste time on being average or events from our past we can’t change. Tomorrow isn’t promised and what you do today matters the most. Most of us are wandering aimlessly through life without intention or direction. We are the author of our own story.
We must take ownership of our lives. You can build a strong foundation in your twenties by avoiding these three things:
1)Toxic people
I remember the first time hearing “you are an average of the five people you spend the most time with” by Jim Rohn. It really made me think deeply about who I was spending time with and if they were fostering my growth or holding me back from it.
When you’re a negative person, you tend to attract those kinds of people into your life. Positive people hardly associate themselves with negative energy because it’s draining and it can subconsciously affect your attitude and behavior. Stay away from individuals who constantly complain, blame, judge and talk about others.
That kind of behavior is toxic and causes unwanted stress and anxiety because we’re focused on how others are acting rather than focusing on bettering ourselves and our own actions. Judging and criticizing others is pointless because it doesn’t help you grow at all. It will keep you stuck where you are.
You should be concentrating on your personal growth, instead of worrying about the actions, thoughts, and beliefs of others. That just takes time and energy away from you discovering what your purpose is and who you really are. Ask yourself:
Do I judge and criticize the lives of other people?
Am I the one who’s bringing negative energy to my inner circle?
When my friends and family are being optimistic, does it bother me?
Who do I spend the most time with? Are they positive or negative?
Positive psychology backs up the notion that being a positive person has an effect on your success in each aspect of your life. Those who are positive and optimistic tend to get a lot further than their peers. They experience life at a deeper and more meaningful level.
Surround yourself with people who are positive, inspiring, empowering, and that encourages you to go after your dreams and become the greatest version of yourself. These individuals can show you the potential that already lives inside of you; you just have to activate it. Positivity and optimism always win.
2)A Negative Attitude
Having a negative attitude towards life really holds you back from becoming successful and discovering your passion or purpose. Being negative will block you from seeing opportunities and chances that can 10x your success.
Happy and successful people don’t like being around those who are negative because they make life seem bad and it doesn’t bring them any value. Life’s to short to dwell on the negative parts which are why we must be mindful of our own attitude and how it affects others. The way you speak to yourself matters most.
Ask yourself:
When I face an obstacle or setback, how do I react?
Do I think about more negative or positive stuff throughout the day?
What kind of person do I want to be, positive or negative?
Most of us are unaware of our negative beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors which determine our outlook and attitude towards life. We react before we think. If you’re someone who doesn’t think before they speak, then your emotions have control over you. Your beliefs of the world become your reality.
Self-awareness plays a major role in understanding your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. Awareness gives you the ability to assess your situation and consciously choose the best outcome or solution. This can be developed by daily self-reflection and writing in a journal to keep track of how you’re doing.
The more you understand yourself, the less anxious stressed and frustrated you become. This occurs because you gain a deeper understanding of your life story, your values, your goals, your beliefs and what it takes to become the person you aspire to be. You gain clarity by developing a vision of a greater future.
3)Distractions
The first thing most of us do when we wake up and before we go to bed is to check our phones. Not only does that affect your sleep but it can make you more anxious and overwhelmed. We must be intentional each day in order for us to make progress towards a better future.
Start your day with gratitude and appreciation for at least five minutes. Checking your phone first thing when you wake up increases your chances of being stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed for the rest of the day. Try to think of three things, people, or experiences to be grateful for. To make this even more powerful, write it down.
Being intentional means being aware of your actions and thinking patterns. It’s being able to understand if what you’re doing at the moment is helping you achieve a goal or you’re just having fun. Achieving goals in this era can be difficult since there’s so much information and distractions out there.
Eliminate distractions by being honest with yourself. You need to ask yourself these questions:
How am I spending my free time?
Do I have any meaningful goals set for myself?
What areas of my life would I like to improve and succeed in?
Do I let procrastination and laziness get the best of me?
Am I currently working towards my vision or meaningful goals?
As you develop your inner world by feeding your mind valuable information and insights, you will start to notice the world around you changes. Discovering what your values and goals are in life will really help you aim towards a successful future. Less T.V, Netflix, and social media time are essential to making progress.
Don’t complain and blame others for not being successful or happy with your life, if you can’t sacrifice an hour or two a day to prioritize time to what’s really important. Happiness comes from having success in your physical health, mental health, relationships, career, and finances. Improve each day.
You should dedicate at least (1) hour to self-education. Listen to a podcast or audiobook, read a self-help book, read an inspiring article, watch educational Youtube videos, self-reflect on your goals and find a mentor. You should block out at least 30 minutes to an hour to work on your physical well-being. Having a strong body and an intelligent mind is the key to fulfillment
Blocking out an hour or two to work on your goals and your vision will be the difference between succeeding or not. If you don’t schedule the time to grow, then your time will be owned by other people and distractions which holds you back from making significant life improvement. No excuses, start today.
Remember…
Life is short. Spending time on negative people, thoughts, or past events can really hold us back from creating a successful future for ourselves. Your time and energy are the most valuable thing you own because you don’t get a refund on any of it.
Be mindful of where you spend your time, don’t get to distracted from your vision, and continue to focus on your growth. You always have two choices; struggle or progress. Use your twenties to figure out who you are and how you can serve the world.
